"Yingle Bells"

My wife says to me
Let's not drive the old coupe
Hitch up once again
The one-horse open sleigh.

The horse was awful mad
If he could talk he'd say
You'll be sorry you hitched me to
A one-horse open sleigh.

Yingle Bells, Yingle Bells
Yingling all the way
It ain't fun like it used to be
In a one-horse open sleigh.

Yingle Bells, Yingle Bells
Yingling all the way
I should have worn long underwear
In that one-horse open sleigh.

Dashing through the snow
With the cold wind in our face
I can't hold that horse
He thinks he's in a race.

He kicks snow on us
It hits us on the chest
I bet that we're the coldest Swedes
In the whole darn middle west.

Yingle Bells, Yingle Bells
Yingling all the way
My wife sure hates sleigh bells since
She rode that one-horse sleigh.

Yingle Bells, Yingle Bells
Yingling all the way
We're too old for riding in
A one-horse open sleigh.

Night is awful dark
Can't see beyond my nose
I can't blink my eyes
My eyeballs must be froze.

I can't hear my wife yell
I can't see her face
I guess I must have lost her
When we turned at Yohnson's place.

Yingle Bells, Yingle Bells
Yingling all the way
I nearly caught pneumonia
In that one-horse open sleigh.

Yingle Bells, Yingle Bells
Yingling all the way
I wouldn't make brass monkeys ride
In a one-horse open sleigh.

Sung by Yogi Jorgesson